Hey, I hope you are all having a good week so far!
I just had a moment and felt a bit, well, inspired today.
There’s been a great deal of tumult in my life (in the past couple years). But, I’m not going to rehash it at all, maybe one day.
It’s over. I experienced it. I survived it. I learned from it. Now, I’ve decided to leave it all behind (issues, toxic people, and everything else). All I’m bringing with me into 2017 is: wisdom, love, and courage (qualities that I never knew I had…but found in great abundance).
When I was going through my trials and tribulations I kept thinking, “Why is all this shit happening to me, all at once?” It was one thing after another. Sometimes it felt like a wild ride that would not cease.
I consider myself as one of the sweetest, most sensitive, and sincere individuals and those who truly know me would agree. Yet, I was being dragged through the dirt, particularly by people whom I was supposed to love and trust and by people who didn’t even know me; and for what? Jealousy? “Why?” was all I could ask whilst sobbing into my pillow night after night.
Yet, now when I think back on it, I wonder, “Why not me?” In the midst of that my lesson was that I, nor anyone else, is exempt from pain and suffering. If you live long enough you are going to get knocked around a little by life. Sometimes bad things really do happen to good people. You just have to take it and grow.
So, when everything was all said and done I realized what it was for. Yes, there are things in my life I am confused about, things that are missing or things that I want to change who doesn’t experience that? No one has a “perfect life” don’t ever let anyone fool you into thinking that. “Everyone makes mistakes, takes wrong decisions and messes up in life. Everyone is a little broken, little shattered and a little damaged. Everyone has their share of troubles and struggles. No one has a perfect life because a perfect life is a mirage. It is a myth and just an illusion. So no matter what you are going through in your life don’t let your negative mind take control of your life. Banish the negativity and don’t let anything destroy you. Just destroy the thoughts that can destroy you”
Good things are happening for me–right now. This very moment–and I truly appreciate them. I am so thankful that I have an amazing family, great friends and I am very blessed that I have a husband who loves me unconditionally. He supports me in everything I do and he is truly my best friend. I love you more than words can explain. Life has thrown us many challenges but we are a team and we always get through it. Each challenge we face we come out stronger than ever. I know what it’s like to suffer immensely and feel as though you’ll never be able to find good in the world again. But when the suffering ends you reverence the bliss.
Presently, I’m in a really good place. So, instead of adhering to my general modous operandi (which is to dread the worst) I’ve decided to dwell in the positive that is going on, fully. Right now everything is good. I want to appreciate this time. I need to appreciate this time. Because when life gets difficult again or when I get those days where I’m feeling low i’ll need to reflect on how good it can be, which in turn will give me motivation when inevitably things go wrong.
My now is beautiful. I love it. I am thankful for it.
See, it’s all circular when you think about it. To quote the Joker from Batman, “You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs.” Right now I’m going to devour my omelet.
I survived. Now I am giving myself permission to thrive.
Now it’s time to enjoy a nice relaxing girls night with my friend until my husband comes home from his road game. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to watch the game but I checked the updates and not only did we win but I saw that he got a goal, so proud of him and our boys. Go Oilers!
Have a nice night!